Introduction
N is an altogether remarkable women, who at the age of 78 has lived a life full of both great highs and lows. Her life is reflective of a greater shared experience across women born into the tumultuous and rapidly evolving 20th century, and her story gives clarity to the experiences that shaped both her individual life and then lives of her generational contemporaries.
Especially evident in her recollection of her experiences is the influence of the life course concepts of linked lives, time and place, and the broader social and historical contexts in guiding her life in a certain manner. Her life is one shaped more so by the structures that surrounded her than the individual autonomy she expressed, and I am fully of the belief this does not take away from or disparage her strength of character in the slightest.
Concept
The principle of linked lives encapsulates the profound interconnectedness to be found within individual trajectories, with the focus being on the ways in which no life is lived in isolation. The lives of individuals are shaped, influenced, and often redirected by way of the relationships that are formed with others.
The impact of both the more personal and broader social networks we either consciously or unknowingly partake in shapes our lives in ways often unrecognized and begs the question of capability of individual autonomy amongst creatures as social as human beings.
By my view, the recognition that the decisions, experiences, and actions of the individuals around us are not merely peripheral but integral to the unfolding of our personal narrative is intrinsic to greater understanding of not only ourselves, but the greater human condition and nature.
In study of the life course, the mental construct of linked lives is representative of the cyclical nature of influence, in which individuals are shaped by and in turn shape the lives of those they are both directly and indirectly connected to. These social connections are dynamic forces by nature, inherently painting larger societies as interwoven collections of individual persons connecting to form a larger whole.
This is a principle that transcends the personal to recognition of life as not an individual journey but one piece of a larger whole, one punctuated by a multitude of shared paths. This suggests that human development is inherently a collective endeavor more so than a solitary pursuit, by way of the way in which one’s course is constantly negotiated in relation to others.
Just as linked lives highlights the ways in which we are each inextricably bound by the lives of others, the concept of time and place makes evident that the greater setting we inhabit marks an imprint on the trajectory of the self.
No individual person stands alone in their narrative, as each life might be recognized as but an echo within the larger symphony of human experience that we define as time period. This principle might be understood as speaking to the often profound influence that historical moments and contexts have on life trajectory.
The social and economic forces coupled with the physical and cultural environment works to shape the lives of every person inhabiting said time and place. By nature, time in this concept refers to broader historical and social contexts that define a particular era and the ways in which these temporal forces create larger frameworks within which people live.
Time often creates structures that set limits or even offers untold possibilities of life path that might otherwise not exist. The concept of place is intrinsically related to this concept, as it refers to the geographic and cultural locations an individual might inhabit.
Settings are inherently unique, each providing the rules by which individuals engage with one another, the opportunities they encounter, and the values that are instilled in them from an early age.
Setting might even indirectly influence time in turn, by how different areas throughout history are often relegated by technological advancement in relation to others. Time and place are a fundamental dyad in understanding larger human experience, fluidly working in tandem to shape the lives of every individual throughout history.
Examples
N’s life reflects both the weight of hardship and the light of love and resilience. She was born in rural Oklahoma in the 1940s, in an area of which was still recovering slowly from the Great Depression that had struck the larger country years prior. She was born to a family of little financial power, one of many kids whom worked together to support different economic endeavors.
In coming years her family would enjoy relative success financially, but her early years were marked by labor of which could only be described as primarily physical. She was an astute mind, and once her parents were able to achieve relative prosperity, they were altogether recognizant of her academic ability.
She was pushed for intellectual achievement in a time and area in which women were still relatively regulated to the home, and she relished in the freedom. As a great many of her female contemporaries were seemingly content with their small corner of the world, she wished to pursue university.
Just as she was set to start university, she met a likeminded individual of whom would influence her life in ways untold. This man by the name of D was captivated by Norma, simultaneously intimidated and impressed by her inherent ambition. D was not academically adept, yet he held a heart and ambition within him that was altogether addicting.
N and D were drawn together as if moths to a flame, always with the mind that they would work hand in hand to never prevent the others individual ambition. As she was the one reaching for the sky above her, he was the one waiting on the ground to catch her should she ever fall.
They were inseparable from the moment they met and worked in tandem to overcome the hardships that would inevitably come. Despite her fear of an unforeseeable future, N was comforted by the knowledge she had found her rock in D.
Her parents were pragmatic and proper by nature, qualities of which they instilled in N from a young age. They were individualistic and ambitious, and perseverance of the self and those you love were core values. These lessons would influence N for years to come, be it in the ways she acted or the ways she dressed.
She never liked dresses, almost solely wearing button ups, blazers, and dress pants from the time she turned 20. When she started university, a great many of her contemporaries found it unbelievable that she was from the Southeast corner of Oklahoma, with her mannerisms and persona more befitting of one from upper class England.
During these transformative years, N found her passion in pursuit of literature and language. Just as she found herself, she also found herself falling more and more for the man who supported her every step of the way. D in turn was smitten in the ways that humans often find difficult to verbalize, a kind of love that defines words.
As N graduated with her degree, D proposed to her. They were married by a river but a few months later, a celebration not only of their shared love but of her individual accomplishment. N wished to defy convention further and began to pursue higher education in her area of expertise.
She began to find that teaching was her passion, a calling of which spoke to her on a fundamental level. She believed in the transformative power of education, seeing it as a means to break the cycles of ignorance that were all too apparent in societies throughout history.
Her and D began to speak of the life they wished to create, of their shared ambition and creation of plans that would serve both. But as with any plan, it did not play out accordingly. Almost immediately following her completion of a master’s degree, she was met with the great surprise of pregnancy.
She was fearful of the ways in which this might curtail her career, and yet welcomed this unforeseen step upon acceptance of the inevitable unpredictability of life. She gave birth to R just as she began teaching, and a new chapter of her life began.
The years began to fly by, and as she found her footing in academia D began to find great success in a wide range of economic pursuits. He was always hardworking, and this paid off with ventures of which continually paid off.
The two of them soon found themselves in ownership of a dozen rental properties, a trailer park, and a farm in which they started inspired by N’s love for animals. Despite their economic success, they found themselves struggling to support their daughter in the early mental health struggles she encountered.
As everything else in their life seemed to be coming together, they were racked with guilt of the hardship R faced that they were seemingly incapable of solving either through her mind or his heart. Nonetheless, they began to set down permanent roots and built a house of which would be inhabited to the current day and built a corner store but an acre away.
R was of great intelligence, and her struggles with mental health did not prevent her from obtaining her master’s degree by a young age. As their daughter saw great success, as did N and D. Their love never faltered, and they were active both in the community and wider world around them.
N was ever an activist, vocal and supportive in a wide range of her times social movements. She was tireless in her support of the women’s rights movements and was outspoken in her push for furthered focus and funding for higher education.
As the home and life of N and D grew stronger, they were faced yet again with the mental health struggles of R, this time in turn becoming an addiction to drug use that threatened to pull their peace apart.
For decades following they were faced with having to support their daughters addictions, be it in caring for her or paying untold amounts of money for addiction recovery programs. R had given birth to B, and both N and D became surrogate parents to her due to their daughter’s struggles with addiction and subsequent abuse.
These events held a heavy toll on their life, and yet the two of them persevered throughout it all. The two of them had achieved success and contentment in their professional lives, and yet they were continually held back by their commitment to the care and support of their family.
By way of R’s struggles with addiction, she in turn imposed and passed down mental health struggles to B that N and D worked strongly to support her through. As the years went by, N eventually found peace with the tumultuous nature of the family that had followed by way of the love she shared with D and the love she continued to hold for her daughter and surrogate daughter (granddaughter).
As N and D retired, they were met with the news they would become great-grandparents to B’s soon to be born son, S. They were ecstatic at the news of this, and due to the cyclical nature of family trees they in turn would be almost parentlike figures for him as well as B would work through her mental health struggles and financial hardships.
N was always strong-willed and loving even in the face of absolute chaos, but it was due not only to her individual strength but the strength she found through her love and relationship shared with D. She was a loving and intelligent, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, and yet even she was about to face something she did not know how to overcome.
After more than 5 decades of marriage, she was met with the possibility she might lose her rock. In the year 2019, D was diagnosed with cancer. And despite his strength of will, of love, of hope, that great dragon cancer struck him down, nonetheless. And in turn, the glue that had held the family together washed away.
And in those great waves, N found herself to be drowning. N and D are the strongest people I have ever known, and yet with the physical death of one has subsequently led to the slow mental death of the other. N maintains her loving nature, and yet she has found herself to slowly be losing the great mind she prided herself on in her youth.
She faces a disease of the mind in which her memories are slowly fading away, and a metaphorical disease of the heart following the loss of the one who held it for much of her life. N is an altogether beautiful person, defined both by her inherent character the ways she has touched and impacted those throughout her life.
She is someone who should be defined not by the bittersweet tragedy of loss in recent years, but by what she has given to the individuals and greater world around her throughout her life.
Conclusion
N’s life path is representative of the principle of linked lives, as her relationships shaped the contours of her identity and decisions. Her relationship with D exemplifies linked lives at its core, where mutual support and shared ambitions forged a foundation for resilience and success. N and D’s love and lives intertwined in a dynamic partnership that spanned decades from the moment they met.
D encouraged N’s academic pursuits and professional aspirations while N stood by D as he navigated his own individual path. They weathered life’s hardships, and their shared determination and devotion arguably enabled them to achieve far more than they could alone.
The principle of linked lives extends to N’s relationship with her daughter, R, whose struggles with mental health and addiction became a defining challenge for the family. N and D’s unwavering commitment to R exemplifies the ripple effects of familial interconnectedness.
Their lives became further entwined when they assumed the role of surrogate parents to their granddaughter, B, stepping in during R’s most challenging moments. Decisions such as these underscore the cyclical nature of this concept, by way of how generational bonds create ongoing responsibilities and shared experiences.
Even as N and D transitioned into retirement and became great-grandparents to B’s son, S, their family connections remained central. N’s enduring role as the family matriarch demonstrates the lasting impact of linked lives, as her relationships with her family heavily shaped her life trajectory.
These bonds provided strength as she faced aging and the emotional toll of loss, including D’s passing, illustrating how family relationships are both a source of meaning and a mechanism for navigating life’s challenges. The principle of time and place situates N’s life within the broader historical and geographic context of rural Oklahoma in the mid-20th century.
Born in the 1940s, N grew up in a region still reeling from the effects of the Great Depression, where economic hardship shaped daily life. Her family’s modest means required everyone to contribute, instilling in N a work ethic and resilience that would define her later years.
As her family achieved greater financial stability, new opportunities emerged, allowing N to pursue higher education when this was a path that was far from typical for women in her community at the time.
N’s decision to attend university in the 1960s coincided with the broader cultural upheavals of the women’s rights movement and shifting gender roles. While many of her peers in rural Oklahoma adhered to traditional expectations, N’s intellectual curiosity and ambition drove her to seek a different path.
The changing social norms of the time provided her with the opportunity to challenge conventions, earning a degree in literature and embarking on a career in education. Her success was not just a personal triumph but also a reflection of the broader societal shifts that were redefining what was possible for women.
Historical events continued to shape N’s life in profound ways. The rise of civil rights activism and economic changes during the mid-20th century informed her work as both a teacher and an activist. Her advocacy for women’s rights and educational reform demonstrated how the historical moment in which she lived influenced her values and actions.
N’s life was not merely shaped by the world around her—she actively engaged with and contributed to the societal changes of her time. N’s personal struggles must also be understood within their historical and cultural context.
Her daughter R’s earlier battles with addiction and mental health occurred in an era when these issues carried significant stigma. The limited understanding and resources available at the time compounded the challenges N and her family faced. N’s perseverance in supporting R and her decision to raise her granddaughter reflected her resilience and the enduring influence of linked lives.
N’s experiences with societal change also extended to her professional career. As an educator, she navigated the evolving expectations placed on women, balancing professional ambitions with familial responsibilities.
Her activism, particularly in the realms of women’s rights and education, was both a response to and a reflection of the societal shifts of the 20th century. N’s life exemplifies how individuals are shaped by the historical and cultural forces of their time while also contributing to the larger narratives that define their era.
Through the life course principles of linked lives and time and place, N’s story offers a window into the complex interplay between personal experience and broader social and historical forces.
